Against the Odds
by DreamingToThis
Summary: A new kind of story: novel-length, each chapter a song-fic. A story of Draco and Hermione, whether the people in their lives like it or not.
1. Let Me Fall

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Chapter 1: Let Me Fall

Ron is being a great idiot. Even Harry agrees with me on that point. But he agrees with Ron's basic facts, which is frustrating. Neither of them is even attempting to see the real facts. "We just don't understand it, Herm."

"You don't _have_ to understand it!" I sigh in tired anger. "I don't know why this concept is so difficult for you two. Just let me do this, okay?"

****

Let me fall

Let me climb

There's a moment when fear

And dream must collide

Both boys look at me like I'm insane. Maybe I am; it would certainly make things easier. I'd been waiting for the courage to confront them with this for some time. Now I was just wishing I'd waited a bit longer.

"This is Malfoy, Hermione."

"But he's changed!" I quickly interrupt Harry. "Draco is completely different from how you remember him. If you would just give him a chance, you would see that as I have."

****

Someone I am

Is waiting for courage

The one I want

The one I will become

Will catch me

Instead of arguing any further, I stalk out of the Gryffindor common room. They weren't hearing me, and I refuse to listen to their warnings against 'big, evil Malfoy.' Perhaps because I can actually see that Malfoy and Draco are two very different people.

****

So let me fall

If I must fall

I won't heed your warnings

I won't hear them

I stop suddenly in the middle of the hall. Luckily, it's a weekend so the castle is practically deserted. My snap realization shocks me into total immobility. Dear Merlin, this could be problematic.

I, Hermione Christine Granger, am falling for Draco Malfoy.

Leaning against the wall, I start thinking about this situation. Draco and I are friends, yes, but that's as far as it _should_ go. The fact is, though, that I am falling. Will I be able to rise again? Do I even want to?

****

Let me fall

If I fall

Though the phoenix may

Or may not rise

"Mione! I've been looking all over for you." I hear Draco's voice and cringe. I don't really want to face him. Not now. Not when this revelation is still so new. But I turn and smile at him anyway.

He smiles back, and I melt. This could definitely have bad results; I'm not a good liar. And I'm not particularly good at hiding things either. He'll know something's different almost immediately. He's perceptive like that. "Hi, Draco. What's up?" My voice shakes just slightly. Probably hardly noticeable but like a vocal earthquake in my mind.

And Draco, of course, notices. His eyes narrow suspiciously as he carefully scrutinizes my face. Since we've become friends, he has gotten quite proficient at reading me. Another reason I was scared to face him. Quick knowledge brightens his stormy eyes to a beautiful silver. I inwardly wince. "You're falling for someone," he exclaims. Damn.

My eyes widen before I turn to start walking away. "You have no idea what you're talking about. Think about it a bit longer. You'll realize you're completely wrong." I tell myself that this statement would probably be more convincing if I wasn't running away. Then I tell myself to shut-up.

Draco grabs my arm and spins me around. An even greater knowing is shining on his face. "You're falling for _me_, aren't you?" His tone is half-gentle and half-triumphant.

Looking at the floor, I sigh, "Absolutely and perfectly." Tears spring to my eyes, and I push them back down quickly. This was not an issue to expend tears over. Those were saved for special occasions.

Then I hear Draco speak, hardly above a whisper. "I think I'm falling for you, too."

****

I will dance so freely

Holding on to no one

You can hold me only

If you too will fall

Away from all these

Useless fears and chains

__

**Three months later**

We both have people we need to tell about this relationship. In my case, Ron and Harry. In his case, everyone. He's just tired of hiding all the time. But we are both terrified of people's reaction to this enemies-become friends-become more. So we draw courage from each other through our linked hands and walk into the classroom designated to meet with Ron and Harry. If either of us falters, we can catch each other.

****

Someone I am

Is waiting for my courage

The one I want

The one I will become

Will catch me

Their reactions are relatively the same as when I'd told them Draco and I were friends. Ron is ranting and raving. Harry is thinking Ron's being irrational and harsh but agrees with the basic opinions at the heart of the matter.

Draco interrupts them suddenly. "I used to be so jealous of you three. Did you know that? But now I'm sure it really isn't all that great. It's obvious you don't think as much of Hermione as you let the world believe, so I'm just wondering what else in this little circle is a farce."

Harry and Ron look utterly livid that he would even dare question their loyalty to me. "You hear this, don't you Hermione? How can you think of dating someone who can't even be half-way civil to your best friends?" Ron explodes. This could be a major conflict point if I didn't know that Harry and Ron are just trying to protect me while Draco is trying to defend me.

****

So let me fall

If I must fall

I won't heed your warnings

I won't hear

I squeeze Draco's hand to calm his mounting temper then look beseechingly to Harry. I know I can't get to Ron at this point. Harry, however, stares at me for three hours condensed into a few moments. His gaze breaks as he nods silently. Relief floods ever inch of me except for the piece of my heart reserved for Ron.

I squeeze Draco's hand one more time, more to reassure myself, before moving to stand in front of my sullen fire-headed friend. "Ron, I know this isn't easy for you to accept. There's a lot of animosity, not only between you and Draco but between your families. But my Draco and the Malfoy you know are not the same person."

Ron looks at me then. His always expressive eyes are not only upset and frustrated but also hurt. "It's not just that, Herm. I suppose I can admit he's not the same if that's really necessary. But I don't want you to leave us."

Those words set off my hug-switch, and I immediately throw my arms around his neck. "Oh, Ron! I love you both dearly, and I could never just leave you! You and Harry are the best friends a girl can ask for. Don't ever forget that. But Draco is my chance to have more-than-friends. Why should I miss out on that?'

Ron sighs in final acceptance as he hugs me back. "You're right, as usual. You shouldn't miss this, and I was wrong to ask that of you." I smile at him before running to Draco and throwing my arms around him. His arms circle my waist as his lips meet mine. I melt completely into the kiss until I hear Ron groan behind me. "But really, Herm! Do you have to do _that_ in front of us?"

Draco breaks our kiss and laughs. Ron and Harry start at the unexpected sound before relaxing into their own laughs. I simply settle into Draco's arms and smile at my three best guys.

****

Let me fall

If I fall

There's no reason

To miss this one chance

This perfect moment

A perfect moment, a perfect scene. This is all I ask of the world. Draco is good to me and for me. Harry and Ron truly are the best friends anyone could ask for. And to think, all I had to do was fall. Absolutely and perfectly.

****

Just let me fall

__

A.N./Disclaimer- I own nothing. Sadly. Characters are JKR's. Song is Let Me Fall, sung by Josh Groban.


	2. Shameless

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Chapter 2: Shameless

A year and a half. A very full eighteen months. And I really do love her, more than my old self would have cared to admit. She's changed me, though.

****

Well I'm shameless when it comes to loving you

I'll do anything you want me to

I'll do anything at all

Who would've though that I, Draco Malfoy, could've fallen so completely for a muggle-born? But I did, and now we're out in the open with our relationship that's been kept secret for so long. I've never felt so exposed yet so fulfilled.

****

And I'm standing here for all the world to see

Oh baby, that's what's left of me

Don't have very far to fall

I've always felt so secure in my world. Before her, I never gave my sheltered life a second thought. I was a prejudiced little bastard for a long time, and I'll be the first to admit that. Did I even want to change at that time? I don't know. Like I said, I never thought about it.

She broke me. She made me think. After my father died, it left all kinds of new possibilities open. I began to… explore my options. And she was just there. I thought I at least still had my pride. Then she broke that, too. And she didn't even realize what she was doing to me.

****

You know now I'm not a man who's ever been

Insecure about the world I've been living in

I don't break easy, I have my pride

But if you need to be satisfied

Suddenly, ever time I saw her I was weak in the knees. Why hadn't I ever noticed how beautiful she was before? It's even stronger now that she's actually mine. Or, more truthfully, I'm hers.

****

I'm shameless, oh honey, I don't have a prayer

Every time I see you standin' there

I go down upon my knees

Before 'Mione, I swore that I'd live for myself. I'd never even considered the word "compromise." Who needed to compromise? Certainly not a Malfoy. Then she walked into my life. After much convincing, she changed me. Now, after so long with her, I still won't compromise. Whatever she asks of me, I'll do; no compromise required there.

****

You see in all my life I've never found

What I couldn't resist, what I couldn't turn down

I could walk away from anyone I ever knew

But I can't walk away from you

She has some kind of power over me. Something I never expected. I worked so hard to make my life mine. I had a world that worked for me. It might not have been exactly happy, but it worked. That was all I cared about. She turned that perfect world upside down.

Truthfully, it's all for her now. I've handed my world over to her. I'll sometimes ask myself why I did this. Why I set myself up where I now have everything to lose. I don't know how to refuse anything she asks of me, and that scares of me. I don't want to lose it all.

****

I have never let anything have this much control over me

I work too hard to call my life my own

And I've made myself a world and it's worked so perfectly

But it's your world now, I can't refuse

I've never had so much to lose

Oh, I'm shameless

"I'm sorry, Mione." I approach her cautiously, hoping she's not still upset. Not that I'd blame her if she was. I hadn't meant to snap at her, and it was gnawing at my mind.

"Hmm? For what?" For a moment, I think that she's actually forgotten. Then I see the glint in her eyes. The shine that says she knows exactly what I'm talking about but wants to hear me say it.

I've learned through her that a true man, a strong man, will admit his mistakes and say he's sorry. I'm proud to say I'm now one of those men. "For yelling at you like that. I had no right. Things have just been crazy lately, and I snapped. I'm sorry."

She looks like she's not going to accept. That would kill me, but at least I apologized. It's no longer in my control

****

You know it should be easy for a man who's strong

To say he's sorry or admit when he's wrong

I've never lost anything I've ever missed

But I've never been in love like this

It's out of my hands

That's when she breaks into her beautiful smile and throws her arms around me. I let out a silent sigh of relief and just hold her. "Never do that to me again! Just come talk to me next time you feel so stressed. You know I'm always here for you," she tells me.

I hate the fact she has such control over my emotions, that she holds that power. Then again, I wouldn't have it any other way. She can have that power for as long as she so chooses. I hand it over to her faithfully.

****

Oh I'm shameless; I don't have the power now

I don't want it anyhow

So I got to let it go

I'm sure we look like a couple of fools, standing in the middle of the Great Hall like this. That's what she does to me. Everyone is probably laughing at us right now. Do I care? Not particularly. I've got love in my arms. What else could a guy ask for, really?

****

Oh I'm shameless, shameless as a man can be

You make a total fool of me

I just wanted you to know

Oh, I'm shameless

__

A.N.- Song is Shameles, sung by Garth Brooks.


	3. My Last Breath

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Chapter 3: My Last Breath

Hermione lay in Draco's arms, reveling in the feeling of the way he held onto her. It wouldn't last. It couldn't. They were both still so young with so little real-world experience. She wanted to wake him, to tell him everything she was planning, let him make the choice for her.

But she'd already made her choice. It would be hardest thing she'd ever done, but she had to do it. She had to be completely sure that this was what she wanted out of life. That he was all she wanted. And she had to do it soon, or she'd never do it at all.

****

hold on to me love  
you know I can't stay long  
all I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
can you hear me?  
can you feel me in your arms?  


Holding her breath, Hermione eased out of the bed and set the letter on the pillow where her head had just been. _This is as much for him as it is for me_, she reminded herself. But, gods, how much she would miss him. And so she held that memory of him: the way he looked, the way he felt, the way he smelled. She placed in her heart every detail of the moment

****

  
holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight  


There was only one other cherished memory. It was winter, just before they graduated. A virgin snow-fall lay on the ground, ready for the school to unleash the snow-ball fights and lovers' walks. Draco had woken her especially early, just after sun-rise.

They were the first to experience this whole new world.

"It's almost too perfect, isn't it?" She remembered saying to him. He simply looked at her, waiting for an explanation. "Just look at it. Everything is smooth, unspoiled, soft. As if it's simply earth-bound hope. But we both know it won't last. It'll be trampled and dirtied, and then it will melt. And everything will start all over again."

Oh, how that statement seemed like such a warning, looking back on it now. It applied so perfectly to situation Hermione now found herself in. Looking back again, Draco had seemed to sense that very thing. At the time, she'd dismissed that idea applying to them as silly.

****

  
I'll miss the winter  
a world of fragile things  
look for me in the white forest  
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears  


She finally released the breath she was holding, only to draw and hold another one a second later. She needed all the strength and will power she could find. With one final glance at Draco, she walked out the door.

The walk to her own apartment seemed unbearable short, where before it had seemed so exhaustingly long. She probably could have just apparated, but that drew the chance of alerting Draco. Finally home, she grabbed the small bag out of her closet and apparated away.

****

  
holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight  


_I love you, Draco. You know that, so hold onto that thought above all else. Just as I'll hold onto the knowledge that you love me just as much. I'll miss you so much that it already hurts, but this is something I have to do. I have to know what's out there for me, Draco. I don't have to explain the reasons why to you, as you have a great sense of those types of things._

I also won't tell you where I'm going. Actually, I'm not allowed to. But it's an awesome opportunity that I'd be a fool to pass up. I'll be receiving some great training, and I'll have access to very exclusive and amazing knowledge. It's so exciting, Draco! I've been wanting to tell you all this face-to-face, but I'm a coward. I didn't think I'd be able to actually leave if I told you like that.

Hold me in your heart, just as I'll hold you in mine. I will come back. Soon, hopefully. I just have to know for certain.

All my love,

Hermione

That was the letter Draco woke up to. At first, he thought it some kind of crazy mistake. He closed his eyes to fall asleep again; when he woke up again, everything would be back to normal. But he knew. No matter what, he knew that she was gone and not coming back. He was alone

****

  
closing your eyes to disappear  
you pray your dreams will leave you here  
but still you wake and know the truth  
no one's there  


On the other side of the world, Hermione looked out the window of her new home. Where she'd just left, the sun would just be coming up. Draco would be waking and finding her letter. Where she was now, twilight was just fading. She looked one more time at the fading purples and blues of the foreign sky. "Good night, Draco."

****

  
say goodnight  
don't be afraid  
calling me calling me as you fade to black

__

A.N.- song is My Last Breath by Evanescence


	4. Home to Stay

**Chapter 4: Home to Stay**

    It had been so long, an eternity crushed into only 2 and a half months. He missed her. He'd known he would, with all his heart and soul, but even that didn't compare to painful longing he still felt. He fell asleep every night knowing she was gone and woke up every morning hoping it had all been a dream.  
    Every morning when she wasn't there, Draco had to chase away the thoughts of blame: What had he done so wrong? Why wasn't he enough? He knew they were stupid questions. He knew that it had nothing to do with him; she'd told him that flat out. And yet, she wasn't to blame either. Hermione had always had in insatiable curiosity, and she wouldn't settle until she'd checked out all the other options. It's who she was, and he wouldn't take her any other way. 

**I know you're gone   
I watched you leave   
I always thought   
That it was me   
You made it clear   
With that last kiss   
You couldn't live a life   
With maybe's and whatif's **

    Draco knew, with the same heart and soul that was in so much pain at the moment, that Hermione would be back. Once all of her questions were answered and all of her options explored, she'd find her way back home. That one thing was the only part of his life that held no doubt whatsoever. Every opportunity would be explored, and then she'd return to where she belonged. 

**When every boat   
Has sailed away   
And every path   
Is marked and paved  
When every road   
Has had its say   
Then I'll be bringing you back   
Home to stay **

    "Draco, you okay?" He glanced up at Harry's form in the doorway as he absent-mindedly thumbed through a small but ever-growing stack of letters and cards from Hermione. As soon as he realized exactly what he was doing, he snatched his hand away and forced a smile.  
    "Yeah, I'm fine. Just got another note today, and, I don't know, I got lost in thought or something. She says she's fine and learning all kinds of great things but misses all of us terribly. Apparently, seeing all the great landmarks of Europe through a wizarding perspective isn't the greatest substitute for best friends and an ex-boyfriend. But she's still happy." Draco tosses the most recent letter onto the pile.  
    Harry shoots the blond a discreet, sympathetic glance. He knew Draco hadn't replied to a single letter that Hermione had sent, yet she hadn't stopped sending them. Truthfully, Harry couldn't really blame Draco; he didn't think Hermione realized the kind of pain she was inflicting with every affirmation that she could get along just fine without them. In the end, Harry and Ron would still have a best friend, but Draco and Hermione's relationship was up in the air at the moment.  
    Harry had never imagined in school that some day he'd actually feel sorry for Draco Malfoy. 

**I have the cards you sent to me   
You wrote of trains and Paris galleries   
This spring you'll draw   
Canals, and frescoed walls   
Look how far your dreaming's gone **

    "She will be back, Draco. She'll get sick of everything and just come back home." Harry tried to reassure him, the way they'd all done over the past couple months.  
    Unfortunately, it didn't look like Draco was taking it too well. Before, however, he always just nodded his head then ignored them. Today, he actually replied. "I know she'll come back, Harry. But what kind of position will I have in her life when she does? Right now, when she's away, I at least have some hope to hold onto. But what will I have to hold onto when she's here? I understand why she had to go, but what's left for me when she comes back?" 

**When every town looks just the same   
When every choice gets hard to make   
When every map is put away   
Then I'll be bringing you back   
Home to stay **

And now I know why you had to go alone   
Isn't there a place between 

    Harry couldn't answer any of those questions and so simply left the room quietly. Once he was gone, Draco picked up the stack of letters. He opened the top drawer of his desk and reverently pushed them to the back. At least if he didn't have to look at them every day, he could almost carry on normally with his life. Some days it worked better than others.  
    What Harry said had made an impact. Draco acknowledged the fact that she would eventually see everything she believed she had to see and follow the road home. And he knew that if, in any of her future letters, she even hinted at wanting to come home, he'd be by her side. All she had to do was reach out, call out to him. 

**When every boat   
Has sailed away   
And every path   
Is marked and paved  
When every road   
Has had its say   
Then I'll be bringing you back   
Home to stay **

Reach out to me   
Call out my name   
And I would bring you back again   
Today 


End file.
